It is only the first week of school, and all over, Tracy children are being bullied.
Your child thinks it is funny to tease. Maybe the unsuspecting recipient wore the wrong shoes or the wrong clothes. Maybe she wore her hair the wrong way, or maybe he is just a little overweight or the wrong ethnicity. Whatever it is, your child has decided to destroy them.
Your child is a bully. “Oh”, you say, “it is just a little teasing. What could that hurt?”
Everything.
Maybe those are the first new shoes she has ever had. Maybe it is the first time he has ever been able to go to school safely. Maybe they don’t have the money you have to buy the latest style.
We don’t know the lives of all these children, and neither does your child. Teasing is not innocent, and it hurts. I weep for these children.
Your child is a bully. Your child will continue to be a bully if you don’t address it and tell them to stop. Sometimes it is learned behavior. Sometimes they have been a recipient and are fighting back. It gives them a feeling of power.
But look at what it does to the receiver of this bullying: a lack of self-esteem, failure to thrive, dropping out of school, crime, and so on. There is nothing positive about it.
And your child? She will grow up and continue to be the bully in the dorm, in the work place, to her own children.
So, take a hard look at your kids. Pay attention to their conversations with their peers and siblings. Bullies are cowards. They don’t want anyone in authority to know what they are doing. They are secretive about their bullying. It’s OK for other students to know. They are children. They think they are helpless against the bully. They have seen what the bully has done before. They don’t want to be on the receiving end.
If your child is being bullied, there is hope. If two or more children stand together and tell the bully to stop, that it is wrong and that they will report it to the appropriate adult, most of the bullies will stop.
So, tell your child to find a friend who will stand with them. It is the perceived power that the bully receives that makes them continue. When they don’t get it, they stop. It may take a while, but the bully will stop.
• Jill Costa is a Tracy resident.
Unless the language of intimiation between the parents and parents and child, in the home is erradicated, improvements will have been made?
Be a bully, you breed bully children by following your example? No?
CN
Anyway thats my ramble and THANK YOU JILL for being willing to put your name on a letter so all our voices can be heard
Bullys are frequently children with low self-esteem who don't know any other way to get attention. If you follow a bully home you'll most likely find a parent (or two) who are unengaged in their childs life because of their own life problems. So to say the least, bullying is an inherited behavior.
For those of us who are fortunate enough to have children, we should cherish them and get involved in their lives as we have been blessed with the chance to raise the next generation. For our own sake we should teach them properly because they will certainly be taking care of us when we're senior citizens and I don't want to be cared for by a bully when I can no longer care for myself.
You could say it's a little self serving but what the heck.