Traveling is fun, but coming home has its own particular benefits and bliss.
Having just returned from nearly a month of living out of a suitcase, let me share some revelations about home.
You know you are home when:
• The shower settings are predictable. Every hotel’s plumbing is different and, I believe, designed to frustrate.
• You know how the toilet flushes. Every locale seems to have a distinctive system. Some of them are imponderable.
• The toilet does not frighten you. Speaking of plumbing, have you ever flushed an airplane toilet and wondered if the whole interior of the aircraft was going to be sucked out?
• The wall switches turn off and on what you expect. (The discussion now turns to the electrical.)
• If a critical light bulb is burned out, you know where to get another.
n You can find the bathroom in the dark. (This is a combination of plumbing and electrical.)
• You likely know what day and date it is when you wake up. There is a rhythm to taking out the trash and getting the mail.
• You have to get your own coffee, and it is not freeze-dried. At least, “instant coffee” is what they provide in most hotels in tea-drinking countries. It is better now, but still not good.
• You do not experience a good deal of adventure, surprise or confusion. Or, if you do, it is not caused by any outside influences.
• You need not tip the housekeeper, but need to take any tips from him or her.
• You rarely wear the same shirt three days in a row, unless you choose to do so. We will not discuss underwear.
• You do not have to take off your shoes and belt, walk through a machine and get patted down to get into your car.
• You get home from shopping, and it does not take you two weeks to get things back in order.
• If you want to complain to the management, you mumble to yourself.
Home is often so much better than you remember it.
• Mike McLellan can be contacted by calling and leaving a message at 830-4201 or e-mailing him at DrMikeM@sbcglobal.net.
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