As a risk taker, I write these columns with a laptop computer flat on my lap. Studies have shown that people who do that are at high risk for sterility.
Sterility be damned, I will never get one of those sissy pillows to protect myself. What good is a laptop if you cannot keep it on your lap?
I have the burn scars to prove it.
There are people who drink only bottled water. That is so sad. What good is a life without taking chances?
If you haven’t done so, stand tall, walk to the kitchen and draw and drink a large glass of Tracy tap water. It is liberating.
Michael Jackson sang, “I’m bad,” proudly proclaiming his willingness to go beyond convention. Well, others of us are just as bad. Some of us purposely never shake salad dressing before using it. Other timid souls not only shake, but quickly refrigerate after opening. Ha! Leave the blue cheese out awhile after removing the cap.
Just try it. It feels really good.
There are even people who actually run with scissors. We envy them their bravado, for we do not even walk with scissors.
While some men know barbecued meat is full of carcinogens, they eat their steaks done well anyway. Some, at the opposite end, eat steak tartar despite the possibility of salmonella.
Every day, there are notices on the Internet, in the newspaper and on the television news about things we thought safe that have now been found to be dangerous. It appears that we would be better off not doing anything, eating anything or taking any medication.
When we get a chance to receive $ 20 million from an uncle in Nigeria we never knew existed, we are warned not to fall for a scam. Somewhere, each of us has billions languishing in banks, because we are afraid to collect.
It is a frightening world. Or, if it isn’t frightening, someone has to make it so.
It is said that the brave die only once, but the coward dies a little every day. And while life may seem to be one long season of “Survivor” or “Jeopardy!” or even “The Amazing Race,” facing the task of living with boldness is fulfilling.
You only live once. We have to make the most of what we have.
• Mike McLellan can be contacted by calling and leaving a message at 830-4201 or emailing him at firstname.lastname@example.org.