Did you get the same postcard? It’s scary, indeed.

Transporting the city of Tracy to the future when the south San Joaquin County courthouse is opened downtown in what is now known as the Bow Tie district, the horror arrives in the form of hardcore criminals menacingly wandering our downtown streets, closing businesses and terrorizing families and visitors. 

All because a courthouse is built downtown? That is scary.

Borrowing from Rod Serling’s famous line on his TV show of yesteryear, “Imagine for a moment, if you will,” lawyers and the like (paralegals and court clerks, mind you) hanging out downtown to conduct their business of filing civil complaints and probating estates. And don’t forget about those ungodly divorces, child custody cases and powers of attorney and conservatorship filings for the mentally ill, medically incapacitated or elderly. 

Assuming they’re not carted away to county jail to begin with, the hardened criminals I know and love would certainly drool at the chance to hang out before or after their criminal hearing to cause trouble and get re-arrested on another charge. The courthouse would be a magnet for unsavory types, for sure. Best place to “hang,” right bro?

At the same time, the courthouse would certainly be swamped by those “elements” wanting to pay parking tickets, obtain marriage licenses and official copies of birth and death certificates. And of course, the real estate piranhas would be out in full force to register their property transactions in a desperate (and evil) attempt to bring the local home market to some sort of balance.

Lions, tigers and bears, oh my!

I’m horrified by the thought that some of these types might stick around downtown for a quick espresso and breakfast muffin, perhaps even lunch, or — God forbid — dinner and the theater.

It would, of course, be disheartening to see these folks shop, bank or take advantage of the intermodal transit system now being built across the street from the likely site of a downtown courthouse.

Worse still, these day zombies and the like will begin hosting — close your eyes if it’s too much — business lunches, meetings and office birthday and holiday parties at local eateries. The rest of us will have to wait for a table at our favorite downtown dinner spot. 

Oh, the horror!

But don’t fear, humble denizens of Tracy! As is the case with any fright classic ever enjoyed by a real fan, a true horror story must convincingly allow the reader to suspend disbelief just long enough to stay for the scary ride.

Unfortunately, the dire warnings the postcard presented are so absurd, the audience can’t for a moment take them seriously. Just like a 1950s B-horror film, this piece of politically motivated drivel is so unbelievable as to be laughable.

Readers should also note that the author and “moneybags” behind this campaign is Don Cose, a self-described owner of downtown Tracy property, which is across the street from what he calls “Stockton’s Courthouse.”

Good for Mr. Cose for having the money to launch such an unfound scary story when most of us are watching our pocketbooks during a seriously frightening time for our nation.

Nevertheless, it’s a free country (and county, I hope), and Mr. Cose deserves his say, no matter how self-interested it is and how much it costs him.

By the way, dear readers, engaging in true community discussion by writing to the Tracy Press cost me next to nothing, except the milliseconds this article spent riding somewhere through the Internet.

We’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto.

• Randy Yates is a four-year resident of Tracy.